The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and asked who could spell it.
George raised his hand and he spelled out, "d-i-k-t-a-t-e."
The teacher said, "sorry that's wrong" Then she asked Stephen.
Stephen slowly spelled out, "d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e."
"Sorry" says the teacher, "that's not right either."
Next, she asked Fiona After a slight pause Fiona began spelling, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e."
"Very good Fiona," applauded the teacher, "that's correct. Now," the teacher continued, "who can use this word in a sentence?"
Stephen raised his hand quick as a flash shouting, "I know-Iknow,"
"OK" replied the teacher, "please use the word Stephen."
Stephen responded, "How did my dictate last night, Fiona?"

A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see... Fun period ... fun period ... fun no period ... worry worry worry!"
 

In a primary school classroom, the teacher notices a little puddle underneath Mary's chair.
"Oh Mary!" says the teacher, "you should have put your hand up."
"I did," Mary replied. "But it still trickled through my fingers."

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic lecturer.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the lecturer with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
 

One day, a very attractive under graduate visited the professor's office. The under graduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc.
Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest."
The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?"
To which the undergradute cooed, "Yes, anything you say."
After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?"
The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then."
The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that."